ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
