if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
