you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
