He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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