Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
