i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
