True but thats because hes a fetus.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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