Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...

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(224): View more from Illinois

Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?

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(360): View more from Washington

Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team

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(563): View more from Iowa

I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?

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(516): View more from New York

Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars

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(503): View more from Oregon

One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.

(503): View more from Oregon

By 8 I mean 9.

(503): View more from Oregon

And by 9 I mean 10.

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(801): View more from Utah

He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.

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(775): View more from Nevada

I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?

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