Umm I'm too high to move.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
