if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize