Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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