youre lurking in front of me
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
