this beer tastes like vomit already
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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