BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
