Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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