Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
