pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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