She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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