I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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