Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Sext me about skeletons
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
