is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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