i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
