I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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