erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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