Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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