In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
