we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
