I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
