people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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