Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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