well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You're a waste of cheezeits
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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