Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize