she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
