You just made me feel so damn special
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
