God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize