I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
