What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
