is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
