So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
