Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
