I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
