I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
