My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
