my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize