In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
