I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
