my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
