: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
