it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
