Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
