Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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