one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
