Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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