I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
