batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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