he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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