I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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