i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
