Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
